


look back to the future, in fact [skzverse]

by seungminsice



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Depersonalization, Deviates From Canon, Existentialism, Gen, Memory Loss, Mentioned GOT7 (GOT7), Mentioned TWICE Ensemble, References to Canon, Why isn't that a tag?, any relationships will be entirely platonic because i want to focus on the plot, i hate christopher bang for making the story so complicated, i took some artistic liberty bc chan is vague as heck and i felt like it, it has taken so long to conceptualize the plot, no gotdang romance because we don't need that here, this is basically my attempt to turn the skzverse into a narrative piece, this story is found family as hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28643529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungminsice/pseuds/seungminsice
Summary: the oracle, the historian, the compass, the dreamer, the skeptic, the bearer, the speaker, the leader.eight enter a world that they cannot comprehend the scope of, though one of their own caused its inception. while trying to escape, they lose and find themselves over and over again.will they make it to the end of the journey? will things return to how they were? can the hellevator take them home once again?or will they remain forever in the dreamer's prison?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	1. shining on my path ahead—hellevator

**Author's Note:**

> here's a new fic that i've been working on for a while! the parts i've written so far are a bit out of order (since i don't know how to properly write a story), so the first several chapters might take a while. there will definitely be slow updates while i am working through the 'i am not' series, since i came up with this idea after watching the TOP mv and kind of worked backwards from there, even if i jumped around a bit.
> 
> long story short, here's the first chapter! i hope that this can tide some of my readers over while i work on the next chapters of 'last piece' (my other work, if you're interested) and finish writing out the plot for this story.
> 
> hope you like this one!

Jisung is not ready to move on.

All eight of them had graduated a few weeks ago, and to say that he wasn’t taking it well was a dangerous understatement. Most of the others were excited to be free from the grueling schedule of secondary education and were looking forward to the freedom. It was early enough that nobody had really made any huge plans, so they had just spent the time together, making memories and basking in the early summer heat.

Everybody except Jisung, that is. Though he started out really enjoying the time spent with his family, it soon became nearly impossible for him to do anything with them without immediately thinking about how it was going to end eventually. Regardless of how much they tried to distract him, he couldn’t stop worrying that the summer was going to end too quickly, and all of them were going to move out of their hometown, and they would never get back the good times that they were used to.

And as much as everyone liked to deny it, his concerns were shared among most of the others. Seungmin, Hyunjin, Felix, and Minho were leaving for college at the end of August, Jeongin was planning on taking a gap year to travel, and Chan, Changbin, and Jisung were going to start taking their music much more seriously and pursuing professional careers directly out of high school. Sure, they could still get together when the soon-to-be college students had school breaks and Jeongin eventually came home, but it would never be the same. Everyone seemed to be dealing with this knowledge relatively well, save for Jisung, who was not as good at hiding his dread and fear.

He’s not entirely sure how he found the Hellevator. He was just having a particularly bad day on one of the nights they spent together, and he sort of started running aimlessly. He had no destination; he just needed to be somewhere else. He stumbled upon that abandoned shopping mall, and everything that happened afterwards went by in a blur.

Jisung remembers that they had spent some time in the ruined building before, maybe a few summers ago or more recently. When he finds himself back there for the last time, he notices that the couch and the blankets and the lights and all of the old junk is in the same place it had been all those months ago. He knows that he’s being irrational when he sets it on fire, and he can’t even begin to explain how the idea got in his head, but the old memories burn to the ground nonetheless.

As he is about to leave, he finds an old-fashioned industrial elevator in one of the hallways that he hadn’t noticed before. An unfamiliar word is emblazoned above the doorway in bright lettering:

_hellevator._

Needing an escape and unable to satiate his curiosity, Jisung steps in without a moment’s hesitation. He presses the down button, figuring he’ll end up in the basement or something (even though this elevator didn’t open up onto any of the other floors, as far as he had seen, but he wasn’t being all that rational).

But when the door opens, he steps into a violet field.

The others soon follow, hoping simply to find their friend and bring him home again. But that plan didn’t exactly see itself through.

It couldn’t, not once they see the unnatural shade of the grass or the strange color of the sky that was permanently stuck in sunset. Not when they first lay their eyes on the Inverted City.

And especially not when they fall asleep in that field, which marks the beginning of a story that the Dreamer created out of his fear of letting go.

No, they would not be returning home for a long time. Instead, they would be thrust into a world that sought to take away their identity and reduce them to pieces of a machine. They would attempt to escape this world and encounter self-discovery on the way. And though eventually the dream would end, the world would not be the same when they awoke from it.

Now, it was time for the dream, the escape, the story to begin.


	2. who am i? where am i? i am not me—NOT!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say people are born different
> 
> But why does it feel like we're all the same?
> 
> Us brain washed into the same system
> 
> They expect perfection
> 
> So how can we be different, huh?
> 
> It wasn't until I saw my reflection
> 
> That's when I woke up and realized that the truth had been hidden away from us
> 
> A sign, an omen, a, a glitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's chapter two! it's time to get the ball rolling, so to speak. i'm excited to share this part with you. it came together much faster than i was anticipating! it switches perspectives a lot, but i think you should be able to keep up and figure it out from context clues.
> 
> this is heavily based around the I Am NOT trailer.

The Institute is a compound in the center of the White City. Its stark concrete walls are similar to most other buildings in the metropolis, and yet it stands out like it's been painted neon pink.

Its primary function is to prepare the City's youth for adulthood, introducing them to various career options and helping them become model citizens.

At least, that's the official function.

While it's true that the Institute is a place of learning, it also acts to unify its pupils as a single body of sameness. Names do not exist; they are replaced by an ID, which is the only indicator of individuality. All memories of life prior to the Institute are removed, in the hopes that a clean slate will promote success. Everyone is given the same white uniform, the same three meals a day, the same general schedule, crafted specifically to break the individual down and remove their sense of independence from the crowd.

And this system has led the White City to enter a state of somewhat peace. The inhabitants aren't happy, but they do not experience tragedy. They are kept safe from the unsafe conditions and dirty air of the outside world by a dome that encases the city on all sides. there is little to no sun, but any deficiencies from lack of vitamin d or the longterm effects of breathing in filtered air are taken care of.

Many people are content with the life that they experience in this world that constantly appears to be covered in snow.

But others are not. They long to escape the dome and feel the wind on their face and put their toes in the grass and get tan from the sunlight. They want to have a name and a purpose that they choose for themselves. They want to find the truth outside the security of the city.

* * *

I’m not sure how I got here.

I don’t spend that much time thinking about the past (they tell us to focus on the present and the future here), but whenever it crosses my mind, there’s a blank slate. I know that there has to have been something that came before the white buildings and the white clothes and the sameness and the silence.

But what happened? I can’t seem to remember.

the farthest back I can place is waking up in a haze weeks ago, wearing the same clothes and saying the same words as everyone else. There are no names, no way for us to distinguish one person from the other. Just white hoodies, dark hair, dark eyes, empty expressions.

It feels wrong. There’s got to be something wrong, if I can’t remember how I got here and I don’t know who I am, barring what I am told I have to be. I can’t even remember my name.

But something changes, faster than a blink of an eye.

I’m walking to one of the afternoon activities with some classmates, our heads down, hoods up, mouths closed. And then my ears pop, like experiencing a change in altitude. I blink once, lifting my head. The air feels different.

Hold on, where were we going again?

I stop in my tracks, coming to my senses for the first time in what feels like forever. I blink again, lowering my hood and looking up. Above, the dome that is meant to keep us safe from the damaged world outside is glitching, like it is trying to disappear.

And I start to realize several things.

I am Not what they say I am. I am Not simply a cog in the machine. I am Not a nameless subject of the system, affixed the title 1CN97 for the few occasions I am singled out of a crowd. I am Not.

Knowing that I’m definitely not supposed to be thinking this, I raise my hood again and continue walking. My eyes fall again, trained on the ground ahead.

But my mind is not floating aimlessly anymore. It is focused on a single phrase:

I AM NOT.

And then I remember something, for once.

_My name is Chan._

* * *

Dozens of hooded figures stand in front of a chalkboard that seems to spread out for miles on either side of me. They write lines of passages that we were forced to memorize, the words spoken so many times that they have lost all meaning. They write mathematical formulas that don’t resolve properly, the answers undefined or impossible to figure out. People who try to solve these equations must start over and over again, clearing their work away with their sleeves as they try to figure out where they went wrong.

_2MH98, step forward._

I am called to the blackboard, a piece of chalk already held in my hand. Seeing the empty space in front of me, I move to write the manifesto of the Institute.

But then my hand pauses, right before the chalk touches the blackboard. I realize something:

This feels wrong.

I am not another piece of this puzzle, who must finish writing this story. I am not the one with the next line in the speech. I am not who they say I am.

I am not.

I am Not.

I AM NOT.

Before I have time to second-guess myself, I write those three words on the chalkboard, the letters large and messy. The chalk traces the words several times, so that they stick out amongst the mess of words and numbers and phrases that no longer bear any significance.

And then I walk away, my mind suddenly clearer than it’s ever been since the first day I remember waking up here.

_Minho. That’s my name._

* * *

A face that I can recognize as mine stares back at me from the screens, a placid smile frozen on his face. The quality of the video is gritty and old, and it fades to static periodically.

That’s supposed to be my face. Why doesn’t it look like it? That can’t be me.

The smile remains on the face in front of me, while my own is settled into a straight line.

_That may look like my face, but that can’t be me._

I stand up, turning away from the monitors.

_3CB99, focus!_

I cover my eyes with my hands. I can’t do this anymore. I cannot keep believing the lies that are thrust into our heads.

I am not.

I am Not.

I AM NOT.

I can remember the name I had before I entered the Institute. _Changbin._

* * *

I am standing on top of a building, late at night. The city lights shine around me, but they are at the back of my mind right now. At the current moment, I’m focused on the mirrors directly in front of me. I blink slowly, staring at the person in the reflection.

_How did I get here again?_

I remember walking up the stairs to the rooftop, but the elevator and the journey to here from the campus of the Institute are both hazy. Someone had told me that I was taking a test to determine my aptitude. _Your future awaits, 6FX00. You must be ready for it._

Why did they call me that? I am not 6FX00. I am not supposed to be a student at this ‘Institute’. I am not meant to be in this city, even.

The mirrors shatter, one after another. I wince slightly at the sound.

_My name is Felix._

* * *

I’ve been moderately aware of the world around me for a while. Most days pass with the rest of the Institute keeping their heads down and ears open for orders given by faceless, continuously watching ‘teachers’. They call us by titles that they assigned, removing any memories of our past lives and replacing the names that give us an identity with a series of numbers and letters.

When I hear mine called, 8JN01, it feels like nails on the chalkboards in some classrooms. When I have to say it each morning during attendance, the syllables feel wrong in my mouth, like they’ve been scrambled from their true meaning. It got even worse a few days ago, after I started to remember bits and pieces from my old life. My old identity, before the Institute.

_Yang Jeongin._ The surname came just yesterday morning. I haven’t even dared to do more than mouth the words silently in the darkness of my dorm room at night, but they feel right, and they’re certainly a better way to identify myself than 8JN01.

While filling out the career placement questionnaires this morning, I wrote down some options that had been recommended to me in the weeks prior, but I couldn’t stop thinking about my name. It felt like proof that I wasn’t meant to be applying for careers in the White City, that I shouldn’t even be enrolled at the Institute or living inside the dome. So I left a space blank, and I left with the other applicants.

I’m supposed to be outside the city somewhere, breathing in the unfiltered air.

As I’m taking a bus back to the campus of the Institute after career placement today, something in the air feels even more off than before. The static has only gotten worse as days have passed since I first realized who I was, but it’s almost unbearable now.

The bus finally slows down, coming to rest at a sidewalk. I look out the window at the bus stop, and I freeze.

Looking back at me is another version of myself, a smile painted across his face. He is staring straight back at me.

I stand up almost immediately, racing off the bus. The figure from before is gone, but I see words painted across the bench he previously occupied:

_I AM NOT._

And when I blink, I am no longer at the bus stop.

* * *

I have been here for hours.

At the beginning of the class, we were told that our assignment was to paint the figure projected at the front of the room. When we were finished, the teacher would come up to us and allow us to leave.

Recreating the holographic figure on a flat surface was difficult, regardless of one’s artistic ability. I don’t consider myself a bad painter, by any means, but I’ve been here painting since the morning nonetheless. I am the only one left in the classroom, the other students' paintings long since dry on the glass.

But I still have not finished. Because mine is not perfect yet. Whenever I try to stop, I get the same admonishment from a seemingly disembodied voice:

_No, 7SM00, it are not finished yet. Keep working._

The other paintings are identical, the same brush strokes in the same places. And mine looks similar, but it’s not quite the same.

I pause, my brush hovering over the painting. Why does it have to be perfect, again? When we were given the introduction to the artist career, we were told that an artist’s purpose was to create what the world wanted to see. We had to be able to recreate with perfect accuracy.

But that can’t be right. I could have sworn that artists were supposed to just create what they wanted. Their art was meant to be interpreted, not graded for accuracy.

I lift my paintbrush and let it fall at my side. I walk out of the room, not caring to listen for another warning of my creation being incomplete.

I am not just meant to paint what the Institute wants me to paint. I need to create something of my own.

And I feel like I have opened my eyes for the first time. My mind is clear for the first time that I can remember. And I remember my name.

_Seungmin._

* * *

I open my eyes slowly, still squinting a bit at the light shining directly at me. I’m standing on a circular platform, surrounded by identically dressed students that are looking at the ground.

And the lights are on me.

Why am I at the center of all this? Am I not just a part of the machine? Another one of the thousands of figures clad in white, waiting for the day we enter society and help the White City reach prosperity? I am simply 5JS00. I’m not important.

Wait, yes I am.

I am not a cog in the machine. I am not a member of the crowd.

But I don’t want the spotlight on me. So I turn around.

* * *

I cannot see the faces of the instructors as they write formulae and senseless information on the chalkboard. They are blocked out by static that I know shouldn’t be there. I want to do something to stop watching the scene before my eyes, but I am frozen in the chair I’m sitting in.

Until I’m not.

The headset and the gloves come off easier than I could have anticipated. Remnants of the green light dance in my eyesight as my vision adjusts to the darkness.

The static is gone from my mind, and the white noise has faded so that it only comes from machinery in the edges of the room.

_4HJ00, you have prematurely removed the Augmented Realism headset. Please reenter the Simulated Instruction Environment._

I remain still, my headset and gloves on the ground. And I remember the first piece of my past: my name.

Hyunjin.

* * *

_Seven faces. I recognize all of them from the Institute, but this is from before._

_We’re wearing street clothes, school uniforms abandoned for something more comfortable. Hyunjin and Jisung are fighting again, after the former tried to steal the latter’s skateboard and run off with it. Seungmin is taking pictures with Felix, documenting the older boy’s freckles. Changbin and Minho are trying to insert themselves into Jisung and Hyunjin’s battle, egging them on. Chan sits next to me, a find smile on his face._

_“I’m going to miss this, you know?” He comments, his arm wrapped around my shoulder._

_“It’s not over yet. We’ve still got a few months before graduation.” Chan turns to me, smiling wider._

_“I guess you’re right. Now, let’s go split up Hyunjin and Jisung before they kill each other.”_

_Months later, Jisung runs away from the basketball court and wanders to an abandoned building._

_Fire. Lots of fire._

_An elevator?_

_Something changes drastically once we enter it._

_Then we came here and forgot all of it._

_We all knew each other, then? We must have been close, more than just classmates._

Somehow, I see scenes of things that I’m sure haven’t happened yet.

_A bus breaks through a glass barrier._

_Safety? It’s temporary, but we’re safe. Still being watched, but safe._

_A rooftop with blankets, a shopping cart, and some furniture strewn about._

_When that period of peace and safety ends, there’s a key and another elevator._

_A labyrinth? Some kind of puzzle. It’s unclear._

When I come to my senses, I’m sitting on the bench, looking up at the sky. My head aches slightly, but the pain goes away quickly. I stand up and start to make my way back to the Institute.

_I’ve got to find everyone else._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh! this is getting exciting. hope you liked this installment. kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> i'll be back with the next chapter soon!
> 
> -amy :D


	3. stray kids, everywhere, all around the world—district 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan sees the light and finds a solution.
> 
> jeongin learns more about what comes ahead. he has more questions than answers.
> 
> jisung starts to remember, though memories come slower than anticipated.
> 
> hyunjin makes a new...acquaintance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's chapter three! this is where the action starts and we get some more concrete answers. while writing this, i rediscovered exactly how much of a masterpiece i am not and district 9 are. seungmin and i.n were adorable back in march of 2018.
> 
> hope you enjoy this one!

It only takes a few days for Jeongin to find everyone. He had already interacted with most of them at least once since they’d arrived, so it isn’t that difficult to track them down, even if they have largely been separated in the facility. He can’t tell if it’s a coincidence or not, but their dorms are very close to one another: Seungmin, Felix, Jisung, and Hyunjin are ‘neighbors’; and Chan, Minho, and Changbin are in the same hallway.

But that’s not where he finds each of them, per se. For most, he just runs into them in passing. Each encounter is relatively similar: their eyes meet, he mouths their name silently, they mutter his. They share a moment of understanding, and then it’s gone, and they continue walking in opposite directions.

In order, he finds Chan first. It’s not surprising; Chan’s always been the first. Then comes Hyunjin and Changbin, in close succession, both leaving the simulator rooms as Jeongin arrives to feign his attention to the lectures. Next is Seungmin, who Jeongin doesn’t need proof to know about the messily written poetry under his shirt, presumably written in the semi-private darkness of the dorms. Felix is in the same language class as Jeongin one day, and they have to restrain themselves from sitting next to each other or looking in the other’s direction more than twice. Minho is in his math class, writing and erasing solved formulae on his classwork.

Jisung takes a while to locate, and the experience is a little different. About a week after Jeongin has managed to figure out where everyone else is, Chan slides a small piece of paper into Jeongin’s hand as they pass by each other in the hallway. Later that evening, he unfolds the message, hiding it from the cameras that he’s definitely not supposed to know about, but can still detect, nonetheless.

_I found Jisung. We need to talk, and soon._

When Chan and Jeongin finally find each other again in the seeming labyrinth of white walls and air that’s somehow dusty and sterile all at once, the conversation lasts two minutes at most. Jeongin pulls the older into an alcove outside the life science building, one of the few places he knows they’ll have a moment of privacy.

“What was it-“ He is cut off by Chan pulling him into a tight hug.

“Thank God you’re all right.” Chan whispers into Jeongin’s shoulder as the younger of the two sinks into the embrace. “As soon as I started remembering, I didn’t know where any of the rest of you were. I’ve managed to track down Minho, Seungmin, and Jisung, but I don’t know where the others are. God, what if they’re-”

Jeongin pulls away slightly after a few moments, forcing his tears to remain unshed. Hands rested on Chan’s shoulders, he cuts the other’s panicked rambling off.

“Chan, don’t worry, I’ve found everyone else,” he murmurs. “Changbin, Hyunjin, and Felix are fine. I don’t know if they remember you yet, but they’re alive.” Chan lets out a soft sigh of relief, closing his eyes tightly for a few moments. “Now, you said you’ve found Jisung?”

Chan nods. “Yeah, I did. It was actually not far from here, in one of the labs inside the life sciences building. I tried getting his attention, saying his name, anything to let him know that I was here, but when our eyes met,” he trails off briefly, “I think there was more confusion than relief in his eyes. Unless he’s really good at acting, he didn’t seem to recognize me, and his name didn’t bear any apparent significance.”

Jeongin’s eyebrows furrow. “So you’re saying that he doesn’t remember?”

“That’s what it seemed like,” Chan answers, the worry lines on his face incredibly prominent. “I know that I can’t remember everything about before we came here, but…”

“We can all remember our names,” Jeongin finishes, deep in thought.

“The odd thing about it is that I think Jisung’s aware to some degree,” Chan continues. “When I saw him, it was barely noticeable, but his eyes were alert. He was looking at his surroundings, like he was trying to understand and remember.”

“Well then he probably knows that he’s not supposed to be here. It seems that he doesn’t know why yet.” Jeongin pauses. “We should probably get going soon. We’ll only be safe here for so long before someone sees us.”

Chan nods again. “Right.” He pulls Jeongin into another hug, seeming to be holding onto the younger for dear life. Almost like he’ll disappear if he lets go.

“I’ll find you again soon,” Jeongin says softly, his fingers drawing circles on Chan’s tense shoulders. “I promise. We’re going to find a way out of this.”

“You had better not go anywhere until then,” Chan huffs, somehow managing to pull himself away from who he considers to be a younger brother. “I’m not going to lose any of you again.”

“Noted,” Jeongin smiles.

They say their goodbyes quickly, Jeongin squeezing the other’s hand tightly one last time. When they part ways, Jeongin has a lot on his mind.

_How are we supposed to make Jisung remember?_

* * *

Chan is patiently waiting for botany to end, tending to his section of the hedge and trying to at least make it look like his mind isn’t wandering, focused more heavily on keeping his family safe until they can make it out of the Institute.

_There’s got to be a way to get through the barrier, right?_

There had to be. How else had they gotten inside it in the first place? Even though they have been assured many times that ‘nothing can get through the dome’ and that ‘they were safe’, Chan couldn’t help but think there was a way to get past it.

As Chan works in the light of the surveillance drones above, he is paying marginal attention to the foliage in front of him. That is, he was. But then something catches his eye. A fleck of red in the green-ish black of the hedges. His eyes flick towards the source of color and finds something he never thought he’d lay his eyes on in the city of colorless compliance:

It’s a pair of flowers, small and red and well-hidden in the leaves. But they're blooming nonetheless. Flowers, _blooming._

_Don’t flowers need sunlight to bloom like that? That would mean that sunlight is getting through the barrier, which means…_

Chan’s hands freeze, and he returns the small pair of garden shears to his pocket. A small ray of sunlight is shining on the blooming flowers, easily disguised as the lights from the drones. Following the light upwards, Chan looks towards its source.

Sure enough, Chan can find a way for sunlight to get through. It takes a few seconds, but his eyes come to rest on a small crack in the dome above him.

_It’s broken? But how…_

Chan is pulled out of his thoughts by a warning bell, which tells him that botany is over. The last instruction period of the day, it’s now time for Chan to choke down his evening meal, which consists of overcooked rice, something reminiscent of meat, and a vegetable that he has not been able to place the name of, though he’s eaten it every evening for weeks.

Chan leaves the gardens and starts heading towards the living quarters, keeping his head down to alleviate suspicion in such an open space. While walking, his eyes fall upon the second oddity of the evening:

A broken surveillance drone is lying on the ground, sat on top of several pieces of broken glass.

Chan comes to a stop again, looking around to make sure he is not being watched. He picks up a piece of the glass and inspects it, noting the frayed wiring that runs through it in a hexagonal pattern. He looks up.

_The dome is broken. There’s a way to get through._

Chan sets the glass down in its place again, resuming his trek to the cafeteria. This time, it’s with a small smile on his face.

_There’s a way for us to get out of here._

* * *

Hyunjin is standing silently outside the door of his dorm room, waiting for the morning inspection. Though the expression plastered across his face is neutral, his joints relaxed as he feigns complacency, his mind is screaming and shouting and begging him to move.

He can feel the presence of Seungmin and Felix to his left and right. He can see them in his peripheral vision, holding the same position he is. But internally, each one of them is having the same internal battle he is.

Hyunjin wants so desperately to move from his post outside the door, to run and take the hands of his family and leave this horrible Institute and get out of the city. He wants to find Minho and Changbin and the others, since he’s sure he’s seen their faces in the mass of white-clad students. He wants to give Seungmin and Felix a hug, to calm their nerves and make sure they know that they’re going to be all right, no matter how terrified they all are.

But he doesn’t move a muscle. He just stands there, waiting for today’s head of inspection to come by with the cart and scan the code on Hyunjin’s wrist and move on. He just has to wait until then, and then he can move again.

But when said inspector comes by, it’s not a face that Hyunjin will look at once and immediately forget afterwards. It’s the face of an old friend, one that Hyunjin only started to remember now.

_Chan. Oh my god, it's Chan!_

As Hyunjin holds out his wrist and exposes the code that identifies him as a student at the Institute, Chan goes through all of the normal motions, only meeting Hyunjin’s eyes once for a few seconds. As he finishes, he moves on, but not before dropping something into Hyunjin’s outstretched hand:

A red slip of paper, rolled up tightly.

Hyunjin closes his hand around the piece of paper, waiting more desperately for this to end so that he can read the message inscribed on it.

* * *

_1950\. Meet others at entrance to LS. Come to Sector 4 at 2000 as a group. Be quiet._

Seungmin places the slip of paper among the others underneath his jacket, reminding himself to get rid of it later. He passes a moment’s glance at another piece of paper resting against his chest, the white material soft with wear.

He pulls it out, looking at the words he wrote hastily in the darkness, trying to get it on paper before he forgot them.

_I don’t even know who I am_

_I just did as I was told in the memories_

_What is the path I must go on?_

_Don’t ask, just run first_

Seungmin still isn’t quite sure who he is, but he knows that he can trust Chan. And he knows that he is Seungmin’s best bet of escaping.

He just has to wait until tonight.

* * *

As I reach the entrance of the Life Sciences building, I remember that day about a week ago, when a stranger met my eyes and whispered a name I didn’t recognize.

I didn’t know the person’s name or why they seemed to know who I was, but there was something about his face that seemed familiar. And it was in a way that was more significant than simply passing by him once or twice in the halls of the Institute.

No, I must have known his name at some point. And he must know mine. Was that what he whispered to me from ten feet away?

That was why I had decided to follow the instructions he’d given me this morning. The plan to escape the City. I didn’t know who I was or why he was familiar, but I was sure he’d help me figure it out.

I spend a few minutes trying to recall what he’d said, but I’m pulled out of my thoughts as I see I’m not the only one waiting in the shadows of the building. There are six others, actually, but the man from before is not one of them. But when their eyes come to rest on me, each has a similar reaction to his. Eyes widen, conversations come to a halt.

“J-Jisung? Is that you?” One of them says, a taller boy with full lips and bright eyes asks tentatively.

_Jisung._ That was what he said. Is that my name?

“I think so?” I answer, looking off into the distance as I try desperately to remember something about my identity. “He told me that it was my name, but I don’t remember.” I pause. “How do I know all of you?”

A shorter boy with lighter hair and a heavy dusting of freckles furrows his eyebrows. “You don’t remember? We’re your best friends!”

Jisung squeezes his eyes shut, wracking his brain. Why couldn’t he remember anything? He knew there was something he was supposed to know. Several things, actually. He knew that something had come before the Institute. Something with the six people in front of him and the man who had given them the message. _But he couldn’t remember it._

The first boy steps forward, placing a hand on Jisung’s shoulder and pulling him out of his head again. “Hey, don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll start to remember soon! All of us still don’t have everything back.” He smiles softly, pulling Jisung towards the other five boys. “For now, we can just help you out a bit. My names Minho.”

As the others introduce themselves, Jisung gets the feeling that he knew all of this at one point. And considering the way that they interact with each other, it’s clear that they were all close friends once.

“And the other one we’re going to meet is Chan,” Minho finishes. “Now, let’s get going. We shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

* * *

_WARNING! CONTAINMENT BREACH IN SECTORS 4, 5, AND 7._

That was a bad sign.

Felix and the others start running faster, trying to just get to the bus that’s sitting on the tarmac about a hundred feet away. He can see Chan standing right next to it, holding the back door of the bus open and beckoning them forward.

It takes much longer than Felix anticipated to get to the bus, but they finally make it, jumping in and shutting the door behind them as Chan runs to the driver’s seat and starts to drive.

“Hold on!” He calls back. “There should be some clothes in the back so you can get out of uniform.” Considering the fact that his white uniform has been replaced by a gray hoodie, jeans, and some sneakers, it’s clear that Chan has already helped himself.

“Where’d you find all this?” Changbin asks, pulling on a long-sleeve.

“You know, it was kind of weird,” Chan starts to answer, eyes focused on the pavement ahead of him. “I found the bus like this. It was in one of the old lots behind the Incinerator, and I managed to snag some clothes from a pile inside. Sorry if they smell like smoke.”

“Trust me,” Minho laughs, “anything is better than the uniforms. I don’t care if I smell like I’ve just escaped a burning building.”

The others join in soft laughter, this having been the first attempt at humor they’d heard in God knows how long.

“How far until we get to the barrier?” Seungmin asks, having finished changing into a sweater and a pair of jeans.

Jeongin looks out the window, still getting his arms into the sleeves of his shirt. “From what it looks like, I’d say we’ve got like two minutes, tops.” He pauses, expression showing essence of apprehension. “Chan, how are you planning to break through?”

Chan frowns. “You’re definitely going to hate it.”

Hyunjin furrows his brows. “You’re not planning to drive through it, are you?” Chan doesn’t answer. “You can’t be serious. How is this bus going to get through?”

“I knew you wouldn’t be thrilled,” Chan grimaces. “Trust me, though. The barrier isn’t actually that strong. A drone cracked a hole in it about a week ago. That’s what gave me the idea in the first place.”

“What about the shield, though?” Felix asks, sitting down and holding onto a conveniently placed handrail.

Chan smirks again. “I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that.”

When the barrier is fully in sight, Chan reaches down to something at his feet, fumbling with something Felix can’t see, before standing up from the wheel, moving to the back of the bus. Somehow, the vehicle keeps moving.

“If you weren’t already, now would be a really good time to hold on,” Chan yells, grasping on to a handrail on the ceiling. “We’re going to be able to break through, but the impact is going to be rough!”

Not even ten seconds later, the bus hits the wall of the dome. The glass shatters.

* * *

Changbin sits up slowly, having been knocked back onto a bus seat during the impact. Though he’s a bit disoriented, he can’t feel any injuries.

“Everyone all right?” A voice asks, which Changbin recognizes as Chan’s.

Upon a chorus of yeses, all eight boys stand up. The first thing they collectively notice is that the bus has come to a stop. The second is that light is coming through the windows.

“Come on, let’s go. The bus is definitely not going to get us anywhere after this,” Chan says, walking towards the front of the bus and opening the door. He lets everyone else get out in front of him, looking at the inside of the bus one last time before stepping outside and closing it behind him.

When they step outside, they are shocked by what they see. They’re nearby a small forest, trees stretching more than two stories above them. The grass below their feet is yellow-green, and they are surrounded by foggy morning air. There is a bit of a chill, but their assorted hoodies and sweaters manage to keep it out.

Changbin gasps, breathing in fresh air for the first time in ages. “It’s beautiful.”

“You can say that again,” Hyunjin comments, turning around in a circle.

Seungmin looks at the flora surrounding them with wonder, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He holds a small stack of paper close to his chest.

“Well, Chan,” Felix begins, eyes focused on the trees, “where to now?”

Chan thinks for a moment, a smile on his face. “I’m not sure. Let’s see if we can find somewhere to stay, for now.”

As they start walking, they fall into a natural order. Felix at the front, leading the way. He’s followed by Seungmin and Jeongin, who are very attentively watching their surroundings. Hyunjin is walking with Jisung, telling jokes and getting him to laugh. Changbin and Minho walk quietly with Chan, who has pulled them to the back.

“He still doesn’t seem to remember anything,” Minho mutters softly to the both of them, out of the earshot of the five in front of them. “When we first saw him, I called his name, and the only recollection he had was when you said it to him two weeks ago.”

Chan frowns, worry lines showing again. “And he didn’t recognize any of you either?”

“Sort of,” Changbin answers. “We had to tell him our names, but he was clearly trying to remember. You could see the gears turning in his head. I think he has figured out that we’re close, but he hasn’t managed to recall anything else.”

Chan curses under his breath. “That’s definitely not a good sign. I’m not sure why it’s so hard for him to remember.”

“I wish I knew,” Minho muses, deep in thought. “It seems like he should have remembered something by now, right? He woke up just like us, right? He knew that he was more than just his ID, and he knew enough to trust your message and try to escape with us. He’s even connecting with the others pretty well.” He pauses. “But somehow, something’s not clicking.”

“I’m sure it’ll be all right,” Changbin says, trying to assure himself and his brothers. “He’s got to get them back at some point, right?”

“Yeah,” Chan murmurs. “We can only hope it’s sooner than later.”

After a few hours of walking, they find an abandoned warehouse several miles from the outside of the Institute and the White City.

“Do you think we’re the only ones that have escaped?” Seungmin wonders aloud, sitting down on the ground and catching his breath. His hair has fallen into his eyes, and his brow is glistening with sweat.

“I doubt it,” Jeongin answers, joining him. “This place looks like it’s been lived in recently, abandoned a week ago, at most. There are obviously towns and cities outside the dome, considering the fact that none of us were born in there.” He furrows his eyebrows. “Does anybody recognize this place? It feels familiar.”

Jeongin was right about a lot of things. There were remnants of people living here in the past, like some blankets and crates of non-perishable food items. It looked like there were some cots in the corner, or something to sleep on. And it did almost feel familiar, though in a way that Changbin couldn’t place.

“I don’t know,” Felix muses, sitting on one of the crates and looking around. “I don’t believe I’ve been here before, and I don’t know if it’s necessarily familiarity I’m feeling. It’s more like…” he trails off, searching for the word.

Chan hums. “It just feels _right_ , you know? We’ve been in the wrong place for such a long time, and being outside, away from the silence, here with all of you…” he pauses, looking at each one of them. “It’s nice, I guess. It feels like home.”

And Changbin doesn’t have to try very hard to know that everyone else shares the sentiment. Even Jisung, who has absolutely no idea what is going on, seems happier than before, standing next to Hyunjin and Minho and letting them rest their arms on his shoulders.

* * *

We stay in the warehouse for about a week. We aren’t bothered by any Sentries, though I think I see one of the drones nearby one evening. We come to call the building District 9, though none of us can fully explain why. Like so many things that have happened in the past weeks, it just felt right.

One night, we’re sitting around a fire, trying to stay warm as the night gets colder outside. Felix and Jisung have already fallen asleep on each other, a blanket wrapped around their shoulders, and the rest of us aren’t far off ourselves. Seungmin is using my shoulder as a pillow, yawning periodically as he tries to keep up with the conversation between Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, and Minho.

“Has he made any progress?” Minho asks quietly, his volume barely over a whisper.

“A little,” Hyunjin answers, looking over at Jisung’s sleeping form. “He told me this morning that he remembers his name being Jisung, and that he can vaguely recall all of us being friends in high school. It’s definitely not much, but it’s progress.”

Chan sighs, placing his head in his hands. “That’s good, I suppose. It’s better than nothing. I’m just worried that it’s taking so long.”

“Does anybody else remember more?” Changbin asks. “I think I’ve gotten a few memories back, but they’re a bit hazy.”

Everyone seems to be in a similar situation.

“I think that I used to really like photography,” Seungmin murmurs tiredly. “I think I still do. I just don’t have a camera.”

Hyunjin nods. “I think I remember that. I have this distinct memory of stealing Jisung’s skateboard and him threatening to kill me on multiple occasions.” Everyone starts laughing, trying to be quiet so that Jisung and Felix can sleep.

“I think that he almost did, once,” Chan comments. “Although, you had your fair share of times where you did the same thing.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Hyunjin smiles. Seungmin leans further into my shoulder, and his slowed breathing makes it pretty clear that he’s asleep.

Suddenly, my ears start ringing, and the world gets quiet.

And then District 9 and all seven of my brothers are gone.

Surveillance. Running into things we cannot see the scope of.

I see a compass spinning aimlessly, trying desperately to find north but ultimately unsuccessful. It is lying, abandoned, on the floor of an elevator. This one is newer and brighter than the last one, more like one you’d find in an office building or a hotel. In place of the normal floor numbers, there are four buttons: one red, one yellow, one blue, and one white. there are keyholes next to each.

Keys.

There is a key lying on the ground next to someone’s feet. They are sitting in a chair, and I can’t see their face.

There is a key lying in a puddle of water, abandoned. It could take us home, but it is unused.

There are nine keys sitting on a desk, surrounded by maps and notes that were made in Seungmin’s handwriting.

There is a key sitting on the pavement in two places. One is a dark city street, lit by traffic lights. The other is on cracked asphalt, covered in dust and bleached by the sun.

Two keys. Two places. Two roads.

Two…choices?

Someone calls my name.

_Jeongin._

_Jeongin, are you alright?_

_Jeongin! Wake up._

“Jeongin!”

I open my eyes.

I am lying on the ground, gazing up at the stars through an opening in the roof. Chan is kneeling next to me, shaking my shoulders, a panicked expression on his face.

I sit up slowly, rubbing my temples to ease an oncoming headache. “What happened?”

Seungmin wraps his arm around me, and I notice that he was sitting on the other side of me. He looks like he has been abruptly awoken. “You passed out, I think. I was asleep.”

Minho nods, having moved closer. “While we were talking, you turned white as a sheet and just passed out. I think you might have hit your head. Are you okay?” He has the same worried expression as Chan, as does everyone else. Felix and Jisung are half awake, in a similar state of confusion to Seungmin.

I touch the back of my head, which hurts marginally. “I think I’m okay.” I pause. “How long was I out for?”

“Only a minute or so,” Chan answers, still trying to make sure I’m not concussed or something. “You’re sure that you’re fine?”

“I…I think so?” My mind is buzzing, still processing the things I’d seen while unconscious. “I’m not sure.”

Chan’s worry lines become deeper as he looks directly into my eyes. After staring for about thirty seconds, he seems somewhat satisfied. “I don’t think you have a concussion, but I’d take it easy. You probably shouldn’t fall asleep yet, just in case.”

“Okay,” I concede, moving to stand up. “Seungmin, you said you found some empty notepads in the back room?”

Seungmin nods. “Yeah. I can get one, if you want.”

“That’d be great.”

I need to start writing this stuff down. It’s got to be important.

* * *

Hyunjin is pretty sure he's asleep right now, but he can't be entirely sure.

He remembers falling asleep on Minho about an hour after Jeongin passed out. He's definitely not in District 9 anymore, so he's got to be asleep, right? The new place he find himself in is a dimly lit office lined with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and filing cabinets. He is sitting in an incredibly comfortable armchair, seated about five feet away from a roaring fireplace. On a table to his left, there is a steaming cup of tea that he's pretty sure is his. Hyunjin has never been in this room before. This has got to be a dream.

_it's not a dream. well, not_ _exactly._

Hyunjin sits up abruptly in his seat, looking for the source of the voice. It's smooth and deep, and it makes him feel tired and calm. The fire crackles softly. Hyunjin relaxes slightly. He's safe here.

"Who are you?" He asks, still looking for the body that accompanies his apparent host.

_Better to answer what I am, rather than who. I can't say that I necessarily have a name. Just a purpose._

"Well then," Hyunjin begins, trying to rephrase his question, "what is your purpose? Why am I here?"

_That's better. You are here to meet me. I am here to give you directions when the Oracle, the Historian, and the Compass cannot find them. I am here to give you advice when you are faced with the difficult decisions ahead. And I am here to listen._

"How am I supposed to trust you when I cannot see your face?"

_That's an...interesting question, I must say. Nobody's ever worried about my appearance. I've never had one_ before.

Hyunjin furrows his eyebrows, trying to understand. "So are you real? Or am I just imagining this?"

The voice chuckles warmly, which is a sound that Hyunjin feels at peace upon hearing. _I'm definitely real, Hyunjin. I just don't have a face. Not yet, anyway._

Hyunjin takes a sip of the tea, discovering that he's been given a cup of green tea. His face relaxes. "What should I call you?"

_My identity is a bit..nebulous, I suppose. But if it's easiest, I suppose The Guide will work just fine._

"All right," Hyunjin concedes. "Do you have any advice while I'm here?"

_In fact, I do!_ The fire burns a bit brighter, casting a yellow-orange glow on the darkened office. _You've been settled in that warehouse for a bit longer than necessary. I'd suggest that the eight of you get moving. There should be a city that's a few days away by foot. You'll find some allies there._

"Thank you for your help. I'll bring it up tomorrow morning."

_I'm only doing what I was created to do, Hyunjin._

At some point, Hyunjin feels himself drift off in the chair, the warmth of the room and the soft crackling of the flames lulling him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and leaving comments and kudos! i'm not sure when chapter four will come out, but i hope it'll be soon.  
> -amy


	4. you ready? let's go—my pace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeongin does a lot of worrying. they are forced to run. new faces appear. seungmin writes in his journal. 
> 
> tragedy strikes. hyunjin feels guilt for something he couldn't control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there! i'm back after a small break that consisted of me trying to figure out what the heck to write. i hope you like this chapter!
> 
> trigger warnings & content warnings:  
> referenced/implied violence, explosions, fire, gunshots. descriptions of severe injuries. unhealthy coping mechanisms (i don't know exactly what to call it? one of the characters just gets incredibly pessimistic while reacting to certain events. i wanted to provide a warning in case that kind of stuff is upsetting).

Hyunjin doesn’t really get the chance to bring up their departure in the way he had planned. He had envisioned casually mentioning it the next morning, while they were sitting around and eating breakfast. But that’s not how it goes, since they don’t eat breakfast that morning.

Hyunjin wakes in darkness, feeling a hand on his forearm. Looking up and trying to find its owner, he sees Minho, who looks like he’s buzzing with adrenaline. His gaze flits around the room, where Hyunjin can see Chan, Jisung, and Seungmin moving around.

“What’s going on?” Hyunjin asks, sitting up slowly as his eyes adjust.

“There are like three drones circling above the warehouse right now. Jeongin and Chan are both almost positive that the Sentries are showing up soon. We need to get out of here while we still have a chance.” He pauses, letting go and moving over to Felix to wake him. “Get anything you want to bring with you. We’ve got ten minutes, tops, before we’re surrounded and have a much higher chance of finding ourselves back at the Institute tonight.”

Hyunjin nods, standing up and putting on a sweatshirt. He slips on his sneakers and runs over to Chan, who is holding a half-filled backpack in his hands.

“Give me something to do,” Hyunjin says, causing Chan to look at him briefly.

Chan looks back down at the bag, which he’s putting a flashlight and some of the rations they found in. “Go help Changbin make sure we have all the maps. He was keeping watch tonight and has barely gotten any sleep, so he’s absolutely exhausted.”

Hyunjin hums in understanding and moves over to Changbin, who is sorting through a large stack of folded paper. He’s scouring them, trying to decide which ones are important, but he’s very clearly not doing super well.

“Here, let me help,” Hyunjin suggests, taking the map out of Changbin’s hand.

“Thanks,” Changbin says, relieved. He stifles a yawn before picking up a second map. “Do any of these make sense to you?”

Hyunjin doesn’t answer immediately, trying to decipher what’s on the paper in his hands. After a few moments, he realizes that it depicts the surrounding forests, fields, and other terrain. Somewhere near the bottom left, there is the edge of a white circle and a bright red dot a few inches away from it.

“Yeah, I think so. This one’s got the dome and the warehouse on it.” He sets it in the small pile Changbin said was the one for the maps they were bringing. “Have you found a compass, yet?”

Changbin nods. “Yeah, it’s right here.” He pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to Hyunjin.

After finding several identical maps to the previous one and a few that are unique, Hyunjin takes the stack that they’re bringing and holds it in the same hand as the compass. “Okay, I think that’s enough. I’ll take these to Chan. Can you put the rest of these back in the box and hide them in the storage room?”

Changbin yawns. “Sure.”

“Great. When you’re done with that, go see if there are any energy supplements left. You’re going to pass out if you travel like this, and we don’t have time for you to take a nap.” When Changbin nods, Hyunjin walks back towards Chan, who has nearly filled the backpack from before. Another full one sits a foot or two away.

“Here are the maps. I think they’ll direct us to somewhere safer. I told Changbin to repack the rest of them and then hide the box where we found it.”

“That’s good,” Chan answers, taking the maps and compass and placing them in the bag. He calls Seungmin over, which brings Seungmin running towards them with another bag in his hands. “You have everything, Min?”

Seungmin nods. “Yes. Based on our combined supplies, we should have enough to last about a week out there. I packed two of the blankets, and I’m sure that Felix can bring another if he wants it.” He pauses, looking around at everyone else. “Everybody needs to bring layers, since it gets cold outside at night.”

“Okay, I’ll pass that along.” He places one of the bags on his shoulders and gives the other to Hyunjin. “Where’s Jeongin?”

Seungmin looks towards the entrance to the warehouse. “He’s looking out for Sentries and keeping an eye on the drones.”

“Great. Hyunjin, can you make sure everyone else is ready? They’ve got to be almost here at this point.”

“Sure thing. You two should probably join Jeongin, I’ll bring everyone else.”

The trio splits into two groups, with Hyunjin running over to Minho, Jisung, Changbin, and Felix. As he arrives, Minho looks up from the backpack he’s zipping shut.

“You four ready?” Hyunjin inquires. Jisung finishes tying his shoe and stands up, nodding.

“Almost,” Felix answers, pulling an energy supplement out of a crate and handing it to Changbin. He tosses a few to Minho, before closing it and shoving it under a tarp. He pulls on his hoodie and shivers slightly, picking up the blanket next to him for good measure. “I think that’s everything.”

“Yeah, thats it,” Minho answers, putting in the supplements and closing the bag fully. “Are the others outside already?”

“Yes. We need to get going. Chan said that the Sentries have got to be here by now.”

Soon, the five of them stand and begin running toward the entrance of the building, trying to avoid the lights cast by the drones. There probably wasn’t much of a use at this point (they already were aware of their presence from the heat signatures), but it was just an instinct. When they step outside into the cold semi-darkness of 3 AM, Hyunjin sees Seungmin, Chan, and Jeongin standing under a nearby tree. Jeongin is looking off in the distance, staring at something intently.

Chan does a very quick head count, making sure that nobody has been left behind. Once he’s noted everyone’s attendance, he turns to address the group.

“All right, let’s get moving,” he murmurs, noting the intense gaze that Jeongin has on the path they took to get here. “Jeongin, do you see any Sentries?”

Jeongin nods. “There are at least four down that way. If we want to avoid them, I’d say we run.” He pauses. “Which way are we going?”

“The maps pointed out something to the East called Neverland,” Hyunjin supplies, noting what he’d seen not five minutes before. “I think that would probably be our best bet, especially considering the fact that there’s a path drawn from here to there.”

Chan nods. “Then let’s start there.”

* * *

It takes a few days to get to Neverland.

The path is incredibly straightforward with the assistance of the maps they brought, but it’s pretty clear that the route would be hard to find without them.

_It’s only meant to be found by the people that are supposed to end up there._

During their journey, Jeongin had spent most of the time at the back of the group, the only person behind him being Chan, who naturally preferred to be last. Jeongin, although listening to any navigational instructions given by Felix and Seungmin (who had taken control of the maps and compass), was seemingly unfocused on the road ahead. He would often stop in his tracks for a few moments, appearing to listen for something, and he cast his eyes on the trail behind them about every 90 seconds, like he was expecting something to jump out.

And it was completely understandable for him to worry about being followed or watched while they were still out in the open this close to the Dome, but Changbin couldn’t figure out why he was so antsy. The trees provided some decent cover, they tried to avoid leaving incredibly noticeable footprints, and the weather was clear enough that an ambush was unlikely to occur.

But, nonetheless, Jeongin was preoccupied or worried or concerned about something (if it wasn’t about being followed by Sentries, Changbin couldn’t begin to guess what it was), and it made them move a bit slower. Sure, they were much more cautious at this pace, but it made Hyunjin and Felix in particular a bit impatient, since they were both anxious to reach ‘Neverland’, whatever it was.

In the late afternoon on the third day, Seungmin slows down, tapping Felix’s shoulder as he looks at a few notes on the map.

“When we clear the trees, I think we’re going to see it. It says that there’s a special tunnel we have to take to get in, but it shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

Felix nods, having also stopped, eyes trained on the compass in his hand. After a few moments, he seems to pull himself out of a daze and turns to Chan, now that everyone is standing nearby.

“What’s your call, Chan?” He asks, tilting his head in the direction of the forest’s edge. “We don’t know what we’re going to find out there.”

Chan pauses to think for a few moments, looking around at his brothers for any ideas. “I’m not sure if it’s the best idea to just run in there blind, but I don’t think it’s a wonderful idea to split up the group and have one of you scout ahead. How do all of you feel about it?”

“I think we should send two or three people ahead, just to make sure there are no immediate dangers,” Minho muses, lips pulled into a thin line as the gears in his head continue turning. “It would probably make sense to send Seungmin or Felix with the map and someone else, just in case. Chan, you should probably stay here, and we should have a navigator stay.” He pauses. “I’m thinking Seungmin and either me or Hyunjin, but this should be a decision we make together.”

“Shouldn’t Chan go, though?” Felix asks. “He’s sort of been our leader, if such a thing exists in this context.”

“I don’t know. I think I’d rather stay with the group,” Chan answers tentatively. “I trust whoever we send to come back safely, and I don’t want to leave the majority vulnerable without me.” He pauses once again, mulling over a few options. “Seungmin, Hyunjin, Minho: do you think you can handle this on your own?”

Each one nods in turn, and it seems that everyone else can understand his reasoning.

“It’s settled then. Whatever’s out there, just be careful. If we don’t hear from you in twenty minutes, we’re coming after you.”

The three in question nod gravely. After redistributing some belongings (it didn’t make sense for Hyunjin and Minho to take their backpacks with them, since it represented a good half of the group’s resources), the trio starts moving without the rest of the group, with Seungmin in the front with his pair of maps.

Within about 90 seconds, they have moved far enough ahead that they are not visible through the trees.

* * *

Whatever Minho was expecting them to find in this mysterious map location, it definitely wasn’t this. Almost as soon as they left the tree-line, they were met by a sight they could not have guessed would be out here in the wilderness:

There was a city nestled in the large clearing, clearly alive despite the unusual lack of noise from a distance.

Upon noticing the hidden metropolis, Minho stops in his tracks, gasping as he looks up at the shell-shocked buildings and streetlights and signs of civilization that were not controlled by a shady, outwardly ‘benevolent’ corporation.

“So that’s Wonderland,” Seungmin comments, awestruck as he takes in the view. “Should we explore the city before we go back?”

Hyunjin tilts his head. “Maybe we should make sure nobody tries to arrest or kill us before we bring good news or even inherently neutral news back to the others. I want to see what we’re getting ourselves into.”

And that’s what the three of them did. Upon officially entering the city, it was apparent that there was no immediate danger. There were a few people (each clearly dressed in street clothes, not uniforms) that turned to look at the newcomers as they passed, but no attempts were made to antagonize the trio or even ask why they were there.

Until they got to a building about five minutes’ walk into the metropolis. Outside a rundown auto parts store, there was a pair of figures leaning against the store window who perked up as soon as their eyes fell on Minho, Seungmin, and Hyunjin. Upon noticing the new faces, they stepped down from the storefront onto the deserted street and began to move towards them.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you three around here before,” one muses, a medium height woman with bright red hair. “You three must be new.”

Whether or not they realize it, the three boys instinctually move closer to one another, Minho stepping slightly in front of the other two in case he has to protect them. “You guessed correctly. This is Wonderland, right?”

The other figure’s expression softens slightly when she takes a moment to note the appearances and body language of the trio in front of her. “Another correct guess. If you’re worried, we have no intention of harming you. You’re safe here.” Her dark blue hair cascades down her shoulders in soft waves.

The first nods in agreement. “I’m guessing that you three came from the Dome, correct?” Minho nods. “I had assumed as much. You’re still deathly pale form the lack of sunlight. Is it just the three of you?”

Seungmin shakes his head. “No, we came here with five others. We just came ahead to make sure we weren’t going to die upon setting foot in here. Based on how long it’s been, we’ve got roughly ten minutes before they assume we’re dead or captured, so we should probably go get them.”

The redhead smiles widely, holding in her laughter. “Glad to hear that they didn’t completely break down your sense of humor in there. How about we come with you? A larger group is more likely to draw attention, and some of these folks aren’t too fond of change.” The trio agrees tentatively. “Excellent! Oh, before we go, we should introduce ourselves. My name is Jihyo; I’m kind of an unofficial keeper of the peace around here. This is Dahyun.” She points to the other. “She’s my ‘partner in crime’.”

“I’m Minho, and this is Seungmin and Hyunjin,” Minho answers, finally allowing himself to relax.

As they walk back to the outskirts of the city, Minho can only hope that they haven’t made a mistake.

* * *

Dahyun and Jihyo are just as kind to the rest of the boys when they return to the treeline with Minho, Seungmin, and Hyunjin. They explain briefly that this sort of thing was pretty common, since Wonderland is the closest populated area outside of the Dome that’s safe from Sentries.

“I know that it’ll probably take a lot of time to understand everything about the world we live in, since you probably don’t remember a lot,” Dahyun supplies easily. “Don’t worry, the same thing happened for the rest of us. There will be time for all of you to learn about that. For now,” she pauses, guiding them towards the auto parts shop and opening the door. “Welcome to Wonderland!”

On their first day there, most of the time is spent meeting some of the other residents, making living arrangements, and learning a bit about the city itself. Jihyo introduces them to the rest of her crew, which unofficially goes by the name TWICE (which Jisung thinks is a bit confusing, since there are nine of them) and directs them to a vacant house they can crash in.

From the explanation given primarily by Jihyo and Nayeon (another member of TWICE), Wonderland was a place that fell apart with the rise of the White City and was slowly rebuilt by escapees of the Institute. Most choose to stay here once they arrive, but it is not the only safe zone left, so some chose to seek out a different haven.

If Jisung is to be perfectly honest, there is clearly a lot of history he is missing about the world he finds himself in. As far as he can see, the sentiment is largely shared amongst his friends (he can call them friends, right?), but it seems like that’s a conversation for another day. For now, he just listens and tries to remember.

There’s been a lot of that for him, recently, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t starting to get annoying. But there’s not much you can do to change that when the thing you want is entirely out of reach. Jisung can’t seem to remember anything important, even though it is coming for everyone else with varying levels of ease.

He just wants to understand.

* * *

Jeongin’s uneasiness is not quelled by the temporary safety that Wonderland provides. Sure, this is the freest he’s felt in ages, and he doesn’t have to sleep with one eye open or walk around with the constant worry that something bad is going to happen, but the city still feels strange, like there’s something below the horizon that none of them can see.

There are just things about Wonderland that make absolutely no sense to Jeongin. Like the fact that the city was supposed to have been built from nothing, and yet everything is perfectly functional and there are no resource shortages. Like how it is less than a hundred kilometers away from the Dome and should be easy to find for Sentries and Drones, but nobody in the city worries about being taken back to the Institute. Like how Jeongin can still see cameras in hidden places around the city, keeping tabs on the people that think they are free. He’s not sure who or what is watching the feeds, but he can only assume that they’re not friends.

He tries to destroy the cameras when he comes across them, pointing out their existence to Chan and the others. All of them find it a bit odd, but they don’t really question it further once Jihyo assures them that they’re harmless and just says to break cameras if you find them.

Jeongin can sense the storm brewing beneath the surface, but he doesn’t know where it’s coming from, he doesn’t know what’s coming, and he can’t seem to understand why nobody else seems to see it or care about it. He spends several sleepless nights reading through the journal that he’s started filling with his thoughts and dreams and instincts and what he can only classify as visions, hoping to make sense of his confusion. On the rare occasions he manages to fight the insomnia and sleep for more than an hour or two, he has dreams.

Not dreams, though, now that he thinks about it. Not really. They come to him when he’s half-asleep in the morning, in that state where you’re not asleep and experiencing dreams, but you haven’t come to accept the fact that you’re awake yet.

The ‘dreams’ are often vague and short. He sees repeats of similar scenes to earlier ones: the keys, the elevators, the cities, the choices. He remembers that night back in the Dome, where he saw his double at the bus stop. When his mirror waved and smiled and disappeared. Had his eyes been playing tricks on him? Could it just have been an odd reflection in the bus window?

Whatever happens while fighting for sleep, Jeongin always wakes up with the number ‘two’ on his lips and in his mind.

He spends the days worrying about the storm that’s brewing and trying to figure out what Wonderland is and attempting to make sense of the city’s apparent fascination with running and rollerskating and street racing. Everyone is trying to prove themselves, though there isn’t much point when everyone is established more or less as an equal in the city.

Jeongin doesn’t necessarily think he’s lucky for it, but he doesn’t have to worry about the danger and uncertainty on the horizon for long.

Soon enough, the storm descends. And Jeongin is struck by the lightning.

* * *

**_09OCT2018_ **

_0230: I woke up very early this morning to darkness, the sound of sirens, and Chan telling me to move. From the windows of the house we were staying in, I could see blinding streaks of white light shining down on the streets, and there were seemingly dozens of people outside yelling. When I asked what was going on, Chan answered in simple words: we were followed. We have to get out of Wonderland before the exits are blocked off._

_0300: Jeongin and Hyunjin were nowhere to be found in the house, and a few of us had assumed the worst. From what I could gather, the city was currently surrounded and infested with Drones and Sentries, who were neutralizing and taking back Institute escapees. We briefly ran into Sana (a member of TWICE that Chan seemed to recognize when we were first introduced), who confirmed what was happening and gave us directions towards a tunnel that would take us out of the city. She’d said that the rest of TWICE was trying to evacuate the city, and that she hoped we’d cross paths again. She whispered something into Chan’s ear and gave him a seemingly bone-crushing hug, and he was frozen in his spot for about ten seconds after she ran away. I’ll have to ask him about it later._

_0500: It was really hard, but we made it into the tunnels. Momo was at the entrance, and we asked her if she’d seen Jeongin or Hyunjin. She said that Hyunjin had come through about 30 minutes before, but Jeongin hadn’t shown up. She and Chaeyoung (who had run over upon noticing us) promised that they’d find him and send him in our direction, but told us not to wait for him. All of us were reluctant to listen, but we did after a building exploded roughly two city blocks away._

_0530: We found Hyunjin in the tunnels after half an hour. When we tried calling out to him at first, it was like he couldn’t hear us. He was just walking forward, tuning out his surroundings. After I grabbed his shoulder and stopped him in his tracks, he turned around, face white as a sheet and eyes wide. He told us that he’d watched the sentries kill a few other runners that couldn’t get past their security. He had left the house with Jeongin, but they’d gotten separated in the commotion. Hyunjin was very clearly fighting back tears and trying not to let utter panic consume him. He was showing minor symptoms of shock. He had a few cuts and minor abrasions, and there was blood on his face and hands._

_0645: The tunnel came out into a well-covered forest clearing several miles away from Wonderland. We could hear explosions, gunshots, and other commotion far behind us, but we just had to keep moving forward. We weren’t going back to the Dome._

_0800: We’ve decided to wait here until we hear any news of what’s happened to Jeongin. It’s not completely safe, but we’re not leaving him behind, no matter what happens._

_1100: It seems that a fair amount of the city’s inhabitants has managed to make it out here. Jeongyeon told us that they were planning to collapse the tunnel on the other end once everyone made it through, but she’s not sure if they’ve done it or not. She and Tzuyu estimate that there are proabably about three hundred people still moving through the tunnels as we speak._

_1400: The last few people are coming through. I think I see Jihyo and Dahyun at the front; there are probably about a dozen behind them._

“Jeongyeon, Nayeon! Come help me,” Mina yells, carrying an injured person on her back. “We managed to seal off the other end, but a few of us are severely injured and need any medical attention we can provide, like right now.”

Seungmin closes his journal, capping the pen he’s holding and stuffing both in his backpack. He cranes his neck, trying to identify the figures that have just come through. Three people have been laid down on the ground, each either unconscious or incoherent.

Jeongin is one of them.

His eyes are closed, and his breathing is shallow. His skin is pale and clammy, and there is a hastily wrapped bandage around his right leg and shoulder. Based on how worried Jeongyeon, Mina, and Nayeon are, one of them is either a stab wound or a gunshot wound.

Seungmin stands abruptly and runs toward the group, noticing that Chan is a few yards ahead of him.

“Sana, what happened?” He asks, panic clear in his voice.

Sana looks up at him. “He, Chaeyoung, Momo, and a few others got caught by Sentries and almost were taken back to the Institute. We managed to free them, but Jeongin got shot while we were running. We tried to stabilize him as soon as possible, but we couldn’t do a lot while moving.”

Chan’s eyes are wide, and his hands are clearly shaking. “Is-is he going to be okay?”

“It’s hard to tell,” she answers honestly, standing and moving to join him. “He only collapsed about twenty minutes ago. He’s remarkably resilient. They got him in the shoulder, but he walked nearly the whole way.”

“That’s not surprising,” Minho muses, and Seungmin realizes that he’s been standing nearby for about a minute now. “If anyone can survive a gunshot wound, I feel like it’s Jeongin.”

Sana nods grimly. “We can only hope.”

From several feet away, Mina calls out to Jihyo. Her eyes are focused on Jeongin, but she’s giving out instructions to the leader of TWICE.

“I need you to contact Jinyoung and Youngjae as soon as possible. I don’t think we’re going to be able to do much without having an actual facility or medical supplies. we need to get to N/S, and fast.”

Jihyo nods, pulling out a radio and turning it on. “JB, you there?”

_“Yeah, J. What’s up?”_ A voice asks, who Seungmin guesses is JB.

“I need you to get Jinyoung and Youngjae. on the line, like right now.”

_“Woah, what’s going on?”_

“Wonderland has been seized by the Institute. We’re at the mouth of the tunnel right now, but we’ve got several emergencies to deal with right now. I will give you more details later. Just get them on the line.”

_“I’m here, Jihyo, and Youngjae just walked in.”_ another voice says, presumably Jinyoung. _“Tell me what you need.”_

_“_ I’m handing you over to Mina.” She does exactly that, holding the radio close to Mina’s mouth.

Mina starts talking. “We’ve got three injured: two with second degree burns and abrasions from an exploding building, one with a gunshot wound in the left shoulder and several lacerations on his body. Jeongyeon, Nayeon, and I are doing our best to stabilize them, but we’ve got limited equipment and are currently in the middle of a field. We need your facilities to operate safely, and fast.”

One of the people on the other end curses softly. _“We can be there in fifteen minutes. The two of us are coming with Mark.”_

“Thank you,” Mina answers, letting out a breath.

_“No problem. We’re coming as fast as we can.”_

* * *

It was Hyunjin’s fault.

No matter how much he tried to rationalize, and no matter how many times Chan or Minho or Felix saw his expression and tried to convince him that it was something that nobody could have anticipated and that he shouldn’t blame himself for it, Hyunjin knew that this wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t lost Jeongin while they were running that morning. He knew that, if the two of them had stuck together, they would both have reached the tunnels at the same time, and Jeongin wouldn’t have been caught by Sentries and wouldn’t have gotten shot in the shoulder and nearly died in the explosion that sealed off the tunnels. He knew that they would be safe, and that they wouldn’t have to worry about their team’s mortality as they were traveling to ’N/S’ (whatever that was supposed to mean), desperately hoping that Jeongin’s injuries weren’t infected.

And he knows that everyone is going to keep trying to tell him he’s wrong if he says anything more about it, so Hyunjin just keeps his mouth shut and his eyes on the road ahead of them. God, why couldn’t he have just tried harder to find him once he realized Jeongin was gone? He had told himself that he would be fine on his own, but his instincts were clearly wrong.

Yes, they were definitely wrong. They were telling him to just focus on what was ahead, to the point that he hadn’t initially noticed when the others found him that morning. He was only worried about himself. He was so selfish. Why hadn’t he cared about anybody else’s safety? Why had he left the house alone as soon as he heard the sirens? Why did he leave Jeongin behind when they got separated?

_Why doesn’t he care?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! we met some new people in this chapter, and there are more you'll meet in the next one. i want to give hyunjin a hug because he needs one. i don't apologize for the cliffhanger, but i do apologize for the undisclosed amount of time that may pass between now and the time at which i have the next chapter finished. kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
> -amy :D

**Author's Note:**

> hi there again!
> 
> thank you so much for reading! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. feel free to leave me feedback, give suggestions, or just yell about whatever, because i love hearing from readers!
> 
> hope you're doing well!  
> -amy


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